Positive Parents

Allen and Faith Lewis

"Listen To Each Other"

photo courtesy of the El Defensor Chieftan

The Positive Parenting Program proudly introduces Allen and Faith Lewis as their first Positive Parenting story.

When Allen and Faith married, they agreed that it was important to have at least one parent at home. "We've always wanted our children to grow up with our ideals and our values," says Allen - even though it means they are raising their four boys on only Allen's income from his Human Resources job at NRAO. But they don't consider it a sacrifice: it's an investment. “Sacrifice is subjective; we don't go out to eat a lot because home is better. We're healthy, we're happy." 

They've had their share of challenges. Their two youngest boys are hearing impaired. They had to scrape together the money to provide hearing aids. "You have to do what's best for your kids; our medical benefits didn't cover hearing aides so we had to figure on how to get them the help they needed." Sending the boys to the New Mexico School for the Deaf was a possible option, but not one they seriously considered. Instead, both Allen and Faith learned sign language, sent their sons to Socorro Schools and did everything they could to keep their family together and give their kids a "normal" life. 

"It isn't always easy," Allen admits. "We hold standards that we want them to at least try to achieve, and encourage them to ask for help if they need it. The boys have chores they must do everyday before they leave for school. If they want a pet, they have to earn the money to help pay for its upkeep and must take responsibility for its care."  There are no X-boxes or Wiis in the Lewis house. The boys do get time on the laptop, but if they abuse that privilege, the laptop goes away for a week. They're expected to turn in their schoolwork on time, and Mom and Dad keep up by checking in with the school online to be sure the homework was turned in.

Parents have their chores as well. Allen always fixes breakfast. During the week, Faith takes care of the house, the other meals, and getting the kids to their activities. On the weekends, Allen takes over the household duties.

"You don't want to neglect your kids, but you also don't want to neglect each other," acknowledges Faith. She says it's important to realize that if there's a problem, it might be YOU - it isn't always the kids. 

Faith believes the most important thing they have going for them is prayer. "We know we don't have all the answers but we know where they are. Our fun time as a family is very important to us; we enjoy reading and hiking together.”

Allen and Faith's Parenting tips:

• Take the teacher's side first. The teachers aren't going to bust your kids if they're being good all the time, and Allen says, "my kids will be goofballs sometimes."
  
  
• When kids try to play parents against each other, listen to each other. You can't show your disagreement in front of the kids because you have to support each other. Go in the bedroom and close the door to discuss it, and then talk to your kids together. It is important to establish structure, routine, and consistency by requiring chores and delivering consequences.

Allen and Faith would like to thank the Positive Parenting Committee for recognizing that parenting is more than just having kids - it’s a lifetime commitment. "We appreciate the opportunity to share our story with the Positive Parenting program."

The Positive Parenting Program wouldn't be possible without role model parents like Allen and Faith being willing to share their parenting tips with the community.

In early of 2010 the Socorro City Council and the Mayor's Drug Task Force under the leadership of City Councilman Ernest Pargas, Jr. set out to find and recognize parents who exemplify positive parenting skills within the Socorro community, so these skills can be shared with other parents. They continue to solicit nominations from the community.

Would you like to nominate someone as a Positive Parent? Learn how!